Tuesday, August 9, 2011

What were you looking for?

One of the great things about blogging on Blogger.com (and probably every blog site but whatever) is that you can find out all sorts of fun statistics about who visits your blog and how they got there. Every now and then I check out what search phrases people use to find my blog. The ways people wind up here are just amazing. Here is a look at 10 11 of them, including links to the entries that I think caused these poor people to land on my blog instead of wherever they were actually trying to go:

1. 100% rain predictions ever wrong?
What does this mean and why did they search for it? Bizarre.

2. the first time i moved
This one really stumps me, particularly because of the use of the word “I.” Why on Earth would anyone use google to search for personal information? This makes absolutely no sense. I don’t know what he or she was actually looking for but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t my blog.
I have no idea what links these words to this blog. Do you?

3. "i hate shoes"
OK. Again with the “I.” I don’t understand you people.

4. piles+little+girls+clothes
What? I really like the + signs in this one though. It feels so nonsensically math-y.
No clue.

5. a spider that when you hit it, it deflates
I know I talk too much about spiders in this blog. But deflating spiders… that’s just a whole new thing. I probably need to research this. Yesterday.

6. constant messy hair
If you are looking up “constant messy hair,” does that mean you have it and want to get rid of it, or you want it? I’m confused. Also, shouldn’t it actually be “constantly?”

7. dont want to cut pet door in cat room
OK, well, don’t then. Nobody’s making you put in a pet door. Sheesh.

8. funniest thing about the rain
Can rain be funny? This is not the case where I live. Maybe I need to google “funny rain” and see if I can find out where I need to move to in order to experience this (but that might lead me back here, right?). Because wet rain is a real drag.
No idea...maybe because of the "rain" in the title?

9. how to tell if a person is a therian
I never heard this word before it showed up in my search terms. Dictionary.com says that therian means, “(in some classification systems) belonging or pertaining to the group Theria, comprising the marsupial and placental mammals and their extinct ancestors.” I’m not sure that this is what the “searcher” was referring to. Apparently it also means, according to Wikipedia, “a member of the contemporary subculture of therianthropy, which is based on a spiritual and/or psychological identification with animals… Therianthropy refers to the metamorphosis of humans into other animals... via shape shifting."  This one sounds much cooler. No matter which definition you are looking for, you aren't finding therians in my blog. So sorry. [Don't you feel educated now?]
I'm pretty sure this was just some kind of wacky spelling mix up. 

10. it's a pillow it's a pet mp3
I feel sorry for you if you are looking for this song on mp3. You need a life. Kudos on using the right form of "it's," though.
Your Pillow Pet Will Not Successfully Serve as a Barf Bag (<--One of my earliest and most favorite entries.)

11. i am dreaming of a spider and wake up thinking it is there?
Again with the first person pronoun! What’s wrong with you people? GOOGLE DOES NOT HOLD THE ANSWERS TO WHAT’S GOING ON INSIDE YOUR HEAD! 
Some random spider entry. Maybe this one

I  have SO MANY more of these crazy search terms. I'll share more of them later. But I think the important thing to take away from this is that spiders play wayyyyyy too big a part of this blog. I must rectify this. Or not, because a lot of people are finding this blog by accident while looking for some legitimate spider information. That's good for me, but maybe bad for them. Good thing I don't care about them. Spiders. Spiders. Spiders. Spiders. SPIDERS! 


  1. I wish I had crazier google searches in my stats. I get a few daily hits for people searching "grandma niples".
    1) Why are you looking for grandma nipples?
    2) Why can't you spell?
    3) I'm assuming there aren't hundreds of people searching the internet for "grandma niples" (spelled incorrectly), so why are you searching for this every day? And why do you keep coming back to my blog post that doesn't show any nipples at all?

    So many questions.

  2. WHOA! Grandma niples is pretty darn great, I must say. I can't imagine google's reasoning on sending people with that search word to you, nor ANYONE'S reasoning for searching on that! LOL!