Sunday, February 27, 2011

Microwave popcorn for the healthy, lazy person

Recently, I've been making popcorn the old-fashioned way (that's on the stove, kiddies) in order to avoid daily intake of what I've read is a ridiculous amount of chemicals that will surely give me cancer or rabies or cancerous rabies. Something like that. Anyway, then I read on the internet that you can take regular popcorn kernels and pop them in the microwave in a paper bag. You don't even need to use oil (which doesn't give you cancerous rabies, but does give you fat, which I already have more than enough of). Because I'm lazy and allergic to cleaning pots, I put paper bags on the grocery list. And now you are ready for this conversation:

Husband: Are you coming to bed now?

Me: No. I'm going to try to make popcorn in a paper bag in the microwave.

Husband: WHY?

Me: Because I'm hungry.

Husband: Just come to bed. Then you can wake up really hungry for breakfast.

Me: ?

Me: No, I want to try this popcorn.

Husband: In a paper bag? In the microwave? Really?

Me: Yes!

Husband: You're going to burn the house down.

Me: No I'm not.

Husband: Yes you are. Why would you wait until I got home from work to try this?

Me: Because then you can help me save the children when the house goes up in flames.

Husband: Nah, I'm not saving those kids.

Me: I'm making the popcorn.

Husband: Goodnight.

The popcorn came out wonderful, and there wasn't even a spark. Want to do it too? Here's how:

1/4 cup popcorn kernels
1 paper bag

Put popcorn in the bag. Fold the bag down maybe twice. Put it in the microwave. Set it to two minutes or something like that. Listen. When you get two seconds between pops, stop your microwave. Unfold. Eat. YUM!

(You can put oil in the bag too, or salt it and stuff pre-popping if you want. Let me know if you try it and what modifications you have included in the recipe!)

Disclaimer: If you screw this up and somehow burn your house down, I am not responsible. You, however, are a moron. Because this is not hard.

Search for popcorn

Here's another post in which I attempt to make a food item. Sort of. 


  1. Haa, what a easy recipe. Genius!

  2. My kind of recipe, V. Of course, I put a bunch of popcorn salt and stuff on it afterward, but that's not a part of the recipe. Those are just toppings. :)

  3. you guys crack me up. your life is a sitcom.

  4. More like a dramedy, I think. One that wins lots of Emmys. :)

  5. Okay, I don't even like popcorn all that much, but now I want to try this! ;)

    In college, a group of my friends once decided we wanted to decorate our Christmas tree with strings of popcorn, for our Christmas party. It turned out I was the only one who knew how to pop popcorn the old-fashioned way! ;) For the record, threading popcorn onto strings is a really, really slow and tedious process! --mrohr

  6. Isn't it good?! It's the only way I make popcorn now. I'm glad it worked for you and your house did not burn down. Whew!

  7. Mrohr - I never want to string popcorn like that. That sounds horrid! That would never work at my house anyway because my dogs would just maul the tree and eat it all. LOL!

    Linda - Thanks so much for the recipe, and for stopping by to read the blog. I'm honored!

  8. That's how we make popcorn over here, too. I like to add flavored oil afterward (mmm...Tuscan). I know it's got fat but also lots of yumminess.

    In other news, I'm starting to understand why The Boy says the things he does. ;)

  9. O-Tay - HA!!!!!!!!! Husband has said that. The thing is, Husband knows when it's appropriate to say these things (mostly). The Boy, not so much.

  10. Does this mean you just cured cancer? And to think your husband tried to keep you from greatness! Great idea. I am going to try this.

  11. Unfortunately, I don't think so. I've just removed one potential cause. I'll work on the rest shortly. :)

  12. Brenna! My first trip to your blog and I learn how to make the awesomest of popcorns. You are a genius, woman! And such explicit instructions, too (i.e., ...or something like that). :)

    LOVE the blog, sister. Looking forward to many more entries.

  13. Thanks TONS, Siobhan! Glad to hear from you.

  14. I love this popcorn much more than store-bought microwave popcorn -- except, I'm not as healthy as you, I do put salt in the bag and shake it up. Been doing it for years and so far, the house is still standing, but word of advice? Corn on the Cob on a stick will TOTALLY set the microwave on fire.

  15. Ohhhh, I put salt on it when I'm done making it for sure. And Parmesan Cheese too!

    I will take your word on the corn on the cob stick. Since my microwave already has a burnt spot in the window, I'll steer clear. Thanks!