Thursday, September 25, 2014

Unfortunate Long Light

Today I was driving The Girl home from swimming only to find myself stuck in traffic directly in front of The Todd, which is technically known as Todd Couples Superstore.  As you might assume, The Todd sells "adult products," otherwise known as sex stuff. The outside of the building is fairly plain (and windowless, naturally), and would never have caught The Girl's eye except for the cartoon king and queen on the wall.

The Girl: What's that place?

Me: Uhhh, what place? 

(Come on, light!)

The Girl: That place, right there. With the king and queen on it.

Me: It's called The Todd.

(Please don't ask me what the store sells. Please, please, please! What am I going to say if she asks me? I don't lie to the kids, but what's an honest answer that's developmentally appropriate? Think fast, THINK FAST!)

The Girl: Wh...

(OH CRAP, OH CRAP, OH CRAP!)

The Girl: Why does it have that king and queen on the wall?

(WHEW!!!!)

Me: I don't know.

(Thank goodness this traffic is starting to move.)

The Girl: That queen's boobs are really big. 

Me: Yeah, I guess so.

The Girl: Her arms are crossed and they are, like, spilling all over them.

Me: Uh huh.

(Where is this going?)

The Girl: I'm almost done with my nuggets. 

(THANK YOU, GOD!) 

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