Twisted logic

I was just thinking about how handy it is that I have two dogs that helped clean up the spilled soup in the kitchen, and later the spilled milk in the same kitchen, until it occurred to me that THE DOGS ARE THE ONES SPILLING ALL THE STUFF. I can't be praising them for partially cleaning up their own messes. Although I do praise the children for just that, but that's different. Maybe. Whatever.

Anyway, now I'm off to start mopping.

I SMELL SOUP!

(Sorry that I didn't take the time to photoshop out the eye boogies.)

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Words I routinely misspell when typing that I can otherwise spell correctly

Competing (competiting)
Birthday (Brithday)

I'm sure I'll be adding to this list, but these are the two that are haunting me at the moment. And Brithday gets me every damn day on facebook. My left index finger must be extra fast. Being a speedy and eager worker is usually rewarded, but not when you are a single finger working in a team sport like typing. There is no "I" in team, Pointer. NO I.


Word I misspell but it makes me laugh so it's OK:

Results (reslut, meaning "to slut again." Obviously.)

What can't you spell when typing quickly?

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Options

This morning's conversation with The Girl, who just turned five:

Girl: I'm still hungry, Mama.


Me: Well, what would you like to eat?


Girl: What are my options?

I didn't know whether to be impressed by her vocabulary or frightened for my future.

*****

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Cup of the Week

On week 4 of my instillations, I didn't have anything really clever to say. Actually, I kind of did... I was going to say "Urine for a treat! I brought donuts. (They are not in this bathroom. You're welcome!)" but my nurse saw me come in with the donuts and she took them and put them in the break room so... PFFT. So here's this week's cup:

It says, "Urine for a treat (donuts) and a trick (you have to deal with my pee). Happy Halloween!"

I'm totally stumped for next week. I can't use any "yellow pee" jokes (I've had several good ones submitted) because most of the time, the medicine makes my urine various shades of blue (which is totally amusing in and of itself, actually). I can't think of any new ways to use "urine" cleverly. I need some serious inspiration for the last two weeks of treatment. Heaven help me if I'm one of those people who needs to do this all the time. I'm just not funny enough for that.

So, help me out here! Give me something to work with! 

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And so it begins

Last Thursday, I had my first "installation," during which a thankfully very nice nurse filled my bladder with various medicines to hopefully reduce the pain and other symptoms of Interstitial Cystitis. I'm not usually nervous about medical procedures but I've had a bad experience or two with a catheter so I was really sweating it. Fortunately, it wasn't too bad. I only got tears in my eyes once and levitated off the table twice, so really, it wasn't awful (clearly I have low standards in this regard).

Because I'm me, I like to write clever things or draw pictures on my urine sample cups. Having to come up with six weeks of clever is a bit challenging. Above is cup #1, written rather poorly because my hand was shaking. Suggestions are welcome!

Hopefully next time I'll be a little calmer.

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This is the nicest public restroom I've ever seen.

And I've seen A LOT of public restrooms. Yesterday while running a few errands for two hours I had to pee in my son's occupational therapist's office (that one's nice too) and the one in Best Buy (where no one seems to know how to flush the toilet). This one in my health food store is for sure the fanciest I've ever found in a retail establishment.

You should have seen me backing out into the store in order to take this picture. Thankfully, no one was around or I would have felt the need to explain. "I really like this bathroom...." Yeah, that's not strange.

Maybe I'll start taking pictures of every public bathroom I visit. I could make a coffee table book of bathrooms and start profiting off my bladder disease. It might work, right?

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